And A Pony

This has been making the rounds on Facebook lately:

No one should die because they cannot afford health care, and no one should go broke because they get sick. If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day.

I prefer alternative versions.

The Zombie version (via Noah Galang):

No one should die because of a zombie infestation, and no one should become one of the walking dead because they get infected. If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day.

The Star Wars version (via Elizabeth Cohen):

No one should be frozen in carbonite, or be slowly digested for a thousand years in the bowels of a sarlaac, just because they couldn't pay Jabba the Hutt what they owe him. If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day.

The Beer version:

No one should go thirsty because they cannot afford beer, and no one should go broke because good beer is so expensive. If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day.

The transhumanist version of the original would be more concise and to the point:

No one should die. If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day.

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No one should die...

After seeing countless copies of the original statement and variations, I came up with one of my own.

No one should die of kidney disease because perfectly healthy people insist on keeping both of their kidneys. If people have the right to force others to pay for their health care, they have the right to force healthy people to cough up a spare kidney.

Hell, even a person's last

Hell, even a person's last kidney should go to the person who can get the most life-years out of it.

That's simple utility maximization.

A much-needed parody

I told a Facebook friend that she should precede her status update (she was posting the popular version you're parodying) with the words "Taxpayers should be forced to shell out any sum of money to ensure that." Otherwise, I said, nobody with half a heart would disagree with her "status."

She didn't get my point. Her honest take was that to state an unsolved problem is THE SAME as implying that it should be addressed out of the public fisc.

If she honestly felt it was

If she honestly felt it was the same, then she wouldn't object to doing it. There is a sense in which she is correct. It is implied. Making it explicit though makes the trade-off clear, which makes the stand harder to defend.

"People should die if they

"People should die if they can't afford to live."

Yay Noah! I know you

Yay Noah! I know you co-opted this from your friend, but claim it, baby! You and Zombies = a match made in heaven. Good job :)

Kudos to everyone else who has chosen to freakin' wait until we know what the hell is proposed before making a decision.

title....

Eh, love that the title is "Noah, I know you..."

Duh.

And hilarious.

Considering we're married.

No one should go mad because

I read and liked this one very much:

No one should be free if they have medical education. No one should be allowed to practice their craft for money if they know how to help sick and injured people. The state must enslave all health care workers. If you agree post this on your status.

But my baby is:

No one should go mad because they got a glimpse of the unspeakable horror of the elder ones, no one should have to pay to learn the secret lore of Cthulhu worship. If you agree, post this as a status for the rest of the day.