Bumper sticker curmudgeon

Our readers in the United States may have noticed a proliferation of bumper-sticker ribbons lately. First they were plain yellow, then yellow with "Support the troops" written on them, and now there are all kinds, colors, and causes.

I'm not a fan of bumper stickers already. These damn things make me nuts. The knee-jerk pro-Administration position that so many of them seem to imply is bad enough; but now, now, people have started tilting their ribbon stickers so that you can read the text better.

Ribbons are made to be displayed up and down. They're not meant to be angled slightly, or sideways, or any other damn way. Straight up and down. But thanks to the 'Merica-lovers, we get these even more dumbed-down versions:

ribbon1 
ribbon2 
ribbon3

(Apologies for the blurriness. These were on moving vehicles, and the camera was in another moving vehicle.)

It's made me wonder what people would do if I made stickers like this:

flagmessage

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the reason these ribbons are

the reason these ribbons are slanted is so that the ribbon resemles the outline of a fish: the symbol of Christ

That makes a lot of sense, I've always thought the whole Christ thing was pretty fishy. (ducking and running)

I hate to be the one to

I hate to be the one to inform you, but the reason these ribbons are slanted is so that the ribbon resemles the outline of a fish: the symbol of Christ .....

aw, someone needs a hug.

aw, someone needs a hug.

If it was on a car with an

If it was on a car with an EPA rating of less than 35 MPG highway, it was mighty ironic.

My favorite was one car I

My favorite was one car I saw with a red white and blue ribbon reading 'I'm More Patriotic Than You' on it.

Guys, Perhaps my choice of

Guys,

Perhaps my choice of samples showed a little fish-bias. There are many more that I've seen that are tilted at 45ยบ that couldn't be construed as political and Christian at the same time. A lot of them are tilted simply to be able to fit into a tight spot on the back of the car.

Re: the dissent sticker, I like the spirit of it, but it seems like the same game of stupid medium with some message. I hate messages. Damn it.

Christ, yeah. I guess I'm in

Christ, yeah. I guess I'm in the pro-Iraq camp, but this stuff gets on my nerves too. It's pure gesture politics. The message doesn't bother me so much as the fact that it's more about signalling one's civic virtue to others than actually, you know, doing anything.

I'm reminded of a George Carlin bit...

Haven't we gone far enough with colored ribbons for different causes? Every cause has its own color. Red for AIDS, blue for child abuse, pink for breast cancer, green for the rain forest. I've got a brown one. You know what it means? "Eat sh!t, motherf**ker!"

Randall, how do you feel

Randall, how do you feel about these stickers?

http://www.cafepress.com/supportdissent.24213883

You can't fault anyone for not seeing the Fish symbolism. It's lost in the implied political message and the more explicit patriotism message.

I would like to see one that

I would like to see one that has a green ribbon in the shape of a $ sign, that says 'Supporting the troops'. After all that is the most accurate way of describing my support.

I'll leave it as an exercise to the reader to determine if I view that as a good or bad thing.

Then how about this

Then how about this one:

http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=487

Stormy -- That's great, I'd

Stormy -- That's great, I'd have laughed my ass off if I saw that.

I want one that reads: "I

I want one that reads:

"I support the guy in korea making these magnets"