Ways to make modern life harder than it needs to be

Here are some of my favorite entries, guaranteed to make Nicols Fox and other inefficiency-worshipers of of the world euphoric:

  • Marc Leibert of New York reports that he knows a woman who programmed all the phones in her house to speed-dial 911: "So to dial it now," he writes, "you have to hit Memory-1-6. She doesn't understand why this is funny."
  • Replace the computer mouse with two Etch-a-Sketch knobs. (Jim Risner, Greenbelt)
  • Eliminate surnames, as in the old days. (Danny the Elder, son of Joseph of Great Neck)
  • Drive-on-the-left-side-of-the-road Thursday. (Russell Beland, Springfield)
  • Introduce "17-29 Items" lanes at the supermarket.
  • Sell tires only in multiples of seven. (Joel E. Baker, Monterey, Calif.)
  • Mandatory fee of a nickel if you hum or whistle a copyrighted song. (Joel E. Baker, Monterey, Calif.)
  • Viagra takes 2 days 4 hours to become effective. (Marc Leibert, New York)

[Link via the AnalPhilosopher]

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