Kim Jong-Il forms boy band

Tired of threatening his neighbors with nuclear annhilation and bored with using mass famine as a political weapon, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il has his sights on something more mundane. In a move sure to surprise many in the international community, Kim has decided to form a boy band with himself as the front man. The group will be named Kom-RADz, and Kim will assume the moniker Special K.

Kim Jong Il.jpg
Special K with Kom-RADz

"I wanted to use Lil' Kim, but that was already taken by someone else," Kim responded when asked about his new alias. "In my country, I would simply jail and torture such exploiters, but my advisors informed me that was not possible in this case."

Although the move is somewhat unorthodox for the leader of any nation, it comes as no surprise to his close aids. Kim describes himself growing weary of the constant struggle to maintain his tenuous grip on power, "I am ready for a change. Ever since I took over for my father as leader of North Korea, I have had very little 'me' time. I've been busy developing nuclear weapons, covering up starvation, verbally sparring with world leaders, and periodically lobbing bombs... er test missiles, into the Sea of Japan. I am 61 and am not a spring chicken anymore. This is something I always wanted to do, and if I don't do it now, I'll never get another chance. All work and no play makes Kim Jong-Il something something."

There has been speculation that North Koreans, most of whom are busy trying hard to make sure there will be food on the table for their next meal, lack the discretionary income necessary for the new album to be successful. "No no, I'm not worried about that," Kim states. "There are no bourgeois leeches here. The people will buy. Kom-RADz will be spectacularly successful." Kom-RADz first single W-M-Double-Dizzle Fo Shizzle hits worker communes July 3.

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the buzz on the street is

the buzz on the street is that their second single, "Die, Die, Die" is going to have awesome special effects in the video. Lots of realistic looking explosions and stuff.

I liked his earlier solo

I liked his earlier solo work as "The Il-matic", titled "License to Kim Jong Il". Classic work there, but his new boy band sounds like the shiznit.

Try playing the soundtrack

Try playing the soundtrack backwards. He preaches peace, love, and happiness for all North Koreans in Seoul and Pusan.

...for all North Koreans in

...for all North Koreans in Seoul and Pusan.

...and also for all North Koreans hiding as spies in Tokyo and Osaka as well.

(BTW, this would have been even funnier if you'd cast Kim Jong-Il as a film star like Freddie Prinze Jr. or Leonardo diCaprio, instead of as a boy-band singer. He's a huge film buff in real life, so much so that he even once kidnapped a legendary South Korean film director and his movie star wife and forced them to make bad propaganda films for him, until they finally escaped his clutches.)